Financial anxiety can hurt your wallet, along with your mental and physical well-being. Find out what you can do to improve your emotional relationship with money and feel in control of your finances.
Whether you’re struggling to pay down credit card debt and student loans while trying to save for the future, or you’re overwhelmed by the rising cost of, well, everything, there are plenty of legitimate reasons to feel stressed about money. And you’re not alone: According to a 2022 survey from Capital One, an astounding 77 percent of Americans report feeling anxious about their financial situation.
That said, there are ways to decrease your stress and anxiety around money and improve your financial well-being. In addition to taking practical steps, like creating a realistic budget and getting strategic about saving, it can be helpful to focus on improving your emotional relationship with your money. We talked to three financial therapists — experts at the intersection of mental health and financial wellness — to find out more.
What Do We Mean When We Talk About Financial Wellness?
While being able to manage your finances, live within your means, reduce debt, and save for the future are all important parts of your overall financial health, the term “financial wellness” encompasses more than that. It’s about “experiencing healthy emotions toward money,” says Traci S. Williams, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and financial therapist. Those who are truly financially healthy have “a positive outlook about money and are confident when making money decisions,” she says, adding that “they regularly monitor their accounts and are not obsessive about how much money or debt they have.”
Financial wellness isn’t simply about one’s bottom line. “Financial anxiety cuts across all financial levels,” says Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, LMSW, a financial therapist and author of The Financial Anxiety Solution. “Of course, when a person is struggling to make ends meet, they are more likely to experience higher levels of financial anxiety. However, anyone can experience financial anxiety regardless of income and net worth.”
Feeling in control of your finances is one key component of financial wellness, Bryan-Podvin tells DailyOM. You should “feel safe looking at your money,” she says. (For some people, simply engaging with their finances — even checking their bank account — can trigger feelings of anxiety.)
For those in a relationship, financial well-being also means feeling “financially congruent and satisfied with your partner,” says Megan Ford, LMFT, a certified family therapist and coauthor of the book The Fundamentals of Writing a Financial Plan. As Ford explains, you should be able to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about money and be on the same page about your financial goals.
Interested in learning more? Check out The Japanese Art of Happy Money
How Can Financial Anxiety Affect Your Overall Well-Being?
As a financial therapist, Bryan-Povdin says she sees patients who frequently report experiencing “symptoms of depression or anxiety when thinking about or engaging with their finances,” including physical symptoms such as nausea, sleep issues, an inability to concentrate, racing thoughts, and muscle tension.
Research also suggests a correlation between financial stress and issues with weight management, headaches, cardiovascular health, and the management of chronic illness, notes Dr. Williams.
That stress can be especially challenging for couples. “If there is tension between you and your partner about money, it can reduce your feelings of well-being and happiness,” says Ford. “Research backs up what many of us know and experience intuitively: Money is consistently one of the top causes of couple disagreements and conflicts.”
What Are the Underlying Causes of Financial Anxiety?
Nearly everyone feels some degree of anxiety around money, regardless of their income. “The emotions we feel about money are very commonly tied to early experiences, significant financial memories — sometimes called ‘financial flashpoints’ — messages we receive from parents or caregivers, and what we witnessed growing up in our families,” says Ford.
To better understand how our upbringing can influence our relationship to money, Williams points to the work of financial psychologists Brad Klontz, PsyD, and Ted Klontz, PhD. The scientists have identified four categories of unconscious beliefs, called “money scripts,” that affect our financial well-being. According to their research, these money scripts can predict money-related issues, including financial infidelity (keeping financial secrets from a partner), compulsive buying, and excessive financial anxiety.
Below, Williams breaks down the scripts and behaviors associated with them for DailyOM.
- Money Avoidant. People who are money avoidant often ignore bills, looking at their bank statements, or talking about money. They may think “money is bad” or that there’s virtue in living with less.
- Money Vigilant. While people who are money vigilant tend to be more frugal and better at saving, they also may deprive themselves of enjoying both the benefits and the sense of security money can provide.
- Money Worshipers. These individuals view money as the key to happiness. They believe money can solve all problems, while also feeling as though they can never have enough.
- Money Status. Status seekers are likely to spend more than they have and tie their self-worth to their net worth.
How Can I Improve My Financial Health and Well-Being?
Improving your financial health and well-being requires a two-pronged approach that involves both addressing the anxiety and emotions you feel around money and taking practical steps to track spending, pay off debt, and start saving. Read on for eight financial self-care tips that will help you on your journey.
1. Start With Self-Reflection
Taking time to journal about your financial anxiety “can decrease your money distress, and help you better understand your thoughts, emotions, and concerns about money,” says Williams. “It's also an effective way to outline your goals and track your progress over time, creating a system of accountability and motivation,” she adds. Ford agrees, adding that you can also use the journal for “reflecting and learning from financial missteps, practicing money affirmations, and releasing financial stress and anxiety.” If you need more guidance to get started, you could try a financial wellness app like Stackin, which helps users “identify their financial beliefs and change financial habits through therapy-based activities and reflection practices,” explains Ford, a consultant for the app.
2. Talk About It
More than half of Americans still believe talking about money is taboo, according to a recent poll, with 63 percent saying they would never discuss finances at the family dinner table.
“People who want to open up money discussions may find pushback from loved ones, which can be difficult,” admits Williams, but she says those discussions are essential. “For one, we can only improve weaknesses that we acknowledge, and improving our financial pictures [also] involves actively setting and meeting goals,” she says. If you can’t talk about financial matters with family or close friends, Williams suggests looking to online groups for candid conversation and support.
3. Make a Money Date
Williams encourages couples to schedule regular money dates to discuss their finances. “Since money can be a stressful topic, choose a calm time to talk,” she says. She also suggests keeping these conversations focused by sharing what you’re hoping to discuss at the outset, whether it’s saving for a first home or tackling credit card balances together.
4. Overcome Avoidance
One of the most common ways financial anxiety manifests itself? Money avoidance, the act of avoiding looking at bills, budgets, and bank accounts. “Our brains encourage us to avoid things that create distress,” says Williams, who notes that avoidance results in a cycle that can be hard to break — the more we avoid looking at our finances, the more anxious we feel about them.
Williams recommends starting small, exposing yourself to your finances with straightforward tasks that feel more manageable, whether it’s logging into your bank to check your balance or canceling credit cards you no longer use. “Because avoidance occurs as a result of anxiety, practicing deep breathing and using affirmations as you do these tasks can help calm your body and mind,” adds Williams.
5. Spend Mindfully
Once you’re able to take a look at your bank and credit card statements, you'll really see where your money is going. “This understanding can be eye-opening in itself,” says Williams. She recommends creating a biweekly or monthly budget that allows you to spend within your means.
If you can, don’t deny yourself the occasional indulgence — whether it’s a monthly manicure or the convenience of takeout. Just build it into your budget. Many major banks and credit unions — including Chase, Bank of America, and Citibank — offer free budgeting tools and apps to help you set spending goals and stay on track.
6. Make Saving Automatic
Check one thing off your to-do list by sending a pre-set amount of your paycheck into a savings account to help you reach your savings goals. You can also use an app that rounds up purchases to the nearest dollar and automatically deposits the change into savings.
7. Deal With Debt
“Many people don’t know the interest rate and balances on their credit cards or loans,” says Williams. The first step in tackling credit card debt is finding out those numbers, then using the companies’ online payoff calculators to determine the amount you’ll eventually owe if you pay only the minimum. Depending on your needs, you’ll want to decide between either the avalanche method (paying off the highest interest rate debt first) or the snowball method (paying off the smallest debt first).
If you need more guidance, you can also find free and low-cost credit counseling through the nonprofit National Foundation for Credit Counseling.
8. Ask for Help
Feeling overwhelmed? Fortunately, a growing number of employers are offering financial wellness services to help employees reduce debt and plan for the future, so check to see if it’s part of your benefits package. For example, Capital One’s Money & Life Program provides up to three one-on-one sessions with a money mentor. The best part: It’s free for everyone, whether you bank with them or not.
Should I See a Financial Therapist?
“If money is a source of great stress and anxiety, so much so that you find yourself ruminating, unable to focus, or avoiding money decisions and tasks, or money is impeding how you show up in your daily life as a worker, student, partner, parent, or friend, then these are signs that you would from benefit from talking with a financial therapist who is trained in mental health and anxiety management,” says Ford.
She notes that the field of financial therapy is unregulated, but the Financial Therapy Association (FTA) offers two types of certified financial therapists: financial professionals trained in financial therapy, and mental health providers trained in financial planning. “Financial professionals may incorporate therapeutic techniques into their financial advising services, but aren’t likely to provide traditional therapy,” says Williams. “Similarly, mental health providers won’t sit down with you to devise a financial plan.” You can use the FTA’s online search tool to find a financial therapist who meets your needs.
For couples struggling with financial tension and conflict, Ford recommends connecting with a financial therapist who specializes in intimate relationships. “They might invite you to explore your own money story and financial beliefs as a way to help you better understand how you show up in the money dynamic with your partner,” she says. “They can also help you to better identify patterns, where you’re getting stuck as a couple, what things contribute to and trigger disagreements, and generate solutions.”
The Bottom Line
Whether you’re in a relationship or on your own, unpacking your unconscious beliefs about money is one of the first steps you can take toward financial well-being. As you come to understand and manage your emotions around money — through healthy habits like journaling and spending mindfully — you’ll feel more in control and on your way to achieving your financial goals.
