Where do you begin healing from generational trauma? Can it ever fully go away? Experts share advice on where to start and why it’s so important to prioritize healing for yourself and for the next generation.
When pain from generational trauma — a traumatic event experienced by a family or collective group of people — becomes ingrained in a family’s identity over the course of decades or centuries, healing its wounds can feel daunting. But that shouldn’t stop you from trying. Left unaddressed, family trauma can have a profound impact on your emotional well-being and overall quality of life — not just for you, but for subsequent generations, says Aldrich Chan, PsyD, a neuropsychologist based in Florida.
“Family trauma can have a lasting impact on future generations, creating a cycle of emotional and psychological challenges,” says Dr. Chan, adding that unresolved trauma may cause people to turn to dysfunctional coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse or unhealthy relationship patterns. It can even impact how someone parents their own children.
Read on to learn more about generational trauma and, above all, how to heal from it.
What Is Generational Trauma?
At the root of generational trauma lies dysfunctional behavior within a family or a traumatic event that a collective group of people has experienced.
A war, for example, might cause a family to experience hunger, fear, loss of loved ones, and their nervous systems becoming stuck in “fight or flight,” explains Jennifer Nurick, a clinical psychotherapist and author of Heal Your Anxious Attachment: Release Past Trauma, Cultivate Secure Relationships, and Nuture a Deeper Sense of Self.
Other experiences that could cause generational trauma include genocide, slavery, segregation, racism, family alcoholism or addiction, and enduring abuse or neglect in childhood.
The energy from that event can then be transmitted intergenerationally, explains Nurick, and the children of that family may be raised in a high-anxiety environment due to those remnants of fear and lack.
Nurick also notes that unresolved trauma has links to violence, addiction, mental health issues, incarceration, and obesity.
Those who belong to that group or family may develop physical or psychological symptoms, manifesting as depression, anxiety, chronic pain, and obsessive thoughts, even if they did not personally experience the traumatic event, says Courtney Glickman, PhD, owner of The Collective Healing Center in Maryland. Generational trauma becomes transmitted and a cycle of intergenerational trauma — the passing of trauma from one generation to the next — begins.
“Research suggests that this occurs because traumatic experiences can be inherited,” says Dr. Glickman. “Memory and feelings can live on, encoded from gene expression to everyday language even after the person who experienced the trauma has since passed or the story of the trauma itself has been forgotten.”
The physical effects of trauma can also be inherited. One study published in August 2019 in the European Journal of Psychotraumatology found that children of Holocaust survivors also experienced PTSD and heightened cortisol — the hormone that regulates stress response and metabolism — even though these children didn’t personally experience the Holocaust. Similarly, a study published in the journal Demography in August 2020 found that babies who were exposed to psychological stress in utero during the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, had lower birth weights and are now at higher risk of developing future health problems.
Interested in learning more? Check out How to Heal the Mother Wound.
Generational Trauma and Its Impact Within the Family
Attachment to one’s parents is our primary and most fundamental relationship, explains Duygu Balan, a psychotherapist who specializes in intergenerational trauma and the co-author of Re-Write: A Trauma Workbook of Creative Writing and Recovery in Our New Normal, but the aftermath of these traumatic experiences can impede on parent-child relationships.
When unprocessed generational trauma causes attachment wounding (such as a mother wound or a father wound), this can lead to a parent who is absent, abusive, or emotionally unavailable. It can cause the child to live in a constant state of fear and anxiety, feeling unloved, abandoned, unworthy of care, and fearful of expressing themselves, says Balan.
“Our attachment wounding is not an identity, nor a life sentence. It is our adult responsibility to grieve our losses, process our pain, and heal ourselves so we don’t pass trauma from generation to generation.”
“When a parent does not come to terms with the sacrifices they made for the child, grieve their own losses, or process their trauma, the child might internalize the belief that they owe their parent for taking care of them,” says Balan. “The child’s inclination may be to disregard their needs to avoid hurting the parent and, in the process, betray their own potential.”
Does Generational Trauma Ever Go Away?
Even though generational trauma cannot be erased, there are avenues for dealing with it in constructive ways.
“Generational trauma, while challenging, can be addressed and mitigated, but it may not completely go away in the sense of being entirely eradicated,” says Chan. “The impact of generational trauma can lessen over time with concerted efforts toward healing, awareness, and breaking negative cycles.”
The first step: Do not ignore your own pain. Remember that the effects of trauma are not always immediately noticeable. And leaving it untreated will not be the outcome you want in the long run.
“Trauma responses [such as being hypervigilant and guarded] are our brain’s way of protecting us. However, they can misinterpret nonthreatening events as threatening. They interfere with the person’s day-to-day life by constantly keeping them in a state of hyperarousal and alarm,” says Balan. “When left untreated, trauma can lead to harmful coping mechanisms and self-destructive behaviors.”
5 Ways to Heal Yourself From Generational Trauma
“Our attachment wounding is not an identity, nor a life sentence. It is important to remember that humans get injured in relationships and heal in them, too. It is our adult responsibility to grieve our losses, process our pain, and heal ourselves so we don’t pass trauma from generation to generation,” says Balan.
Considering that your family’s wounds may have been prolonged for decades (or longer), it probably will come as no surprise that healing them won’t happen overnight. And it can be especially hard to heal if you’re part of a group that experiences racism or another prejudice and feel as though the larger societal forces aren’t changing. Research published in the American Journal of Psychiatry in May 2022 asserts that “structural racism and cumulative trauma are fundamental drivers of the intergenerational transmission of depression” and strongly suggests equitable mental health care for those who have experienced it and continue to experience it.
But healing is absolutely possible. Here’s how to make it a priority.
1. Focus on Your Physical Well-Being
While therapy is incredibly important in healing generational trauma (more on that below), it is crucial to prioritize your physical well-being in tandem with your mental health.
The reason? You need to experience a sense of safety in your own body.
“People store trauma in their bodies, so establishing safety begins by focusing on control of the body and gradually moves outward toward control of their environment,” explains Glickman.
This involves getting the right quantity and quality of sleep, eating nutritious foods, and moving your body each day through walking or other exercise. Chan likewise recommends taking up yoga, meditation, and activities that promote mindfulness for physical, mental, and emotional well-being, which will contribute to your overall healing.
2. Establish a Safe, Supportive Environment
Seek out a therapist who makes you feel safe. Particularly for those who have experienced a wounded parent-child attachment, establishing safety and trust will be a vital part of your healing journey. “One of the most common impacts of trauma is feeling helpless and powerless,” says Balan. “Therapy will allow us to make meaning of our trauma, shed light on our unique strengths. and help us understand our trauma responses. Rather than pathologizing trauma responses, celebrating them will help us validate our story and make room for self-compassion.”
Keep in mind that expressing trauma does not have to be done verbally. Art therapy, dance therapy, or play therapy for children can be effective as well. Seeking out a trauma-informed therapist will be helpful in navigating which combination of therapies may be best for you, advises Nurick, who has personally worked to heal her own intergenerational trauma. And if you’re coping with trauma as part of a collective group with centuries of discrimination, it may be helpful to find a therapist who can personally relate to your background, Nurick suggests.
“Intergenerational trauma is a multidimensional issue and I find a multidimensional approach to be the most impactful,” Nurick says. “For my own intergenerational trauma, I have found the most effective methods to be a combination of psychotherapy, especially Internal Family Systems, somatic [body-focused] psychotherapy, EMDR [a treatment for healing PTSD], and energetic healing practices.”
3. Make Healing Nonnegotiable
Reliving and processing trauma is no small feat, nor is it exactly a desirable thing to do, so it’s understandable why you may be putting it off. But it’s so important to make it an intentional part of your life because healing only works if you do the work.
“Preventing trauma from being passed from generation to generation comes from addressing it with intentionality and honesty,” says Balan. “Avoidance can be an effective survival mechanism during traumatic events, although untreated trauma can dictate our lives and get in the way of establishing secure relationships.”
Trauma is not your fault, and you and your family are deserving of healing.
4. Seek Connection, Not Self-Medication
Alcohol or other substances are tempting to turn to in an effort to numb the pain, block out intrusive memories, or cope with nightmares, but the effects will be short-lived.
“While there may be temporary relief of intense feelings, intoxication and withdrawal states worsen symptoms of depression and anxiety. Substance use can result in poor insight and judgment, and can increase risk-taking behaviors,” says Balan.
Instead of self-medicating, seek connection — especially through support groups or communities who may be grappling with similar trauma and are wanting to heal. And if you can’t find a support group, perhaps you could start one.
“Peer support can be a powerful component of the healing process,” says Chan. “Facilitate support groups or connect individuals with community networks where they can share experiences, find understanding, and build a sense of belonging.”
5. Practice Empathy
This may be something you’d like to try first with a therapist who can support you through any heavy feelings that may arise. Reflect on your family history, perhaps through journaling if that feels helpful to you. How did generational or intergenerational trauma impact your parents? Or your grandparents? Or your relatives before them?
Having empathy for their struggles isn’t meant to excuse abusive, neglectful, or inhumane behavior. But it can help you better understand how their wounds from trauma caused them to behave the way they did. This can facilitate the healing process, explains Chan.
Seeking out help in healing generational trauma is an act of resilience, empowerment, and strength. Your generational trauma is not your identity and you are not a victim. You are a survivor who desires a better future for yourself and the next generation.
