If you think manifesting love doesn’t work, think again! Experts suggest that it’s often our mindset that blocks us from finding the right people. Here’s the secret to finding true love. (Psst: It’s easier than you think.)
Meeting our true love seems to occupy much of our thoughts, at least at certain periods. We contemplate not only when it will happen, but if we will ever find it, and worry when we feel like we’re lacking luck in love.
If you’re looking to find a romantic partner, you might have wondered about manifestation. The good news is that experts say you can manifest a true soulmate connection. There is a right and wrong way to go about it, however. Here’s how to find love using the power of your mind.
What Is Manifesting Love?
Brett Sorel, RDN, a holistic healer and manifestation coach based in South Florida, tells DailyOM that manifesting love uses the sacred power of manifestation to call love into your life. Manifesting, she explains, is the concept of making a thought into a physical reality.
However, Taylor Carr, a clinical hypnotist and manifestation coach based in Los Angeles, says that many people have the wrong idea when they consider manifestation for love. “People think that manifesting love is either manifesting a specific person (which totally forgets the reality of free will!) or writing a list of everything you want in a person and hoping really hard that they’ll poof into your life,” she tells DailyOM. “But when manifesting love, it’s more about you than them.”
Carr says that we need to release control when manifesting love. It's important to focus not only on what we get, but also on what we can give. In other words, it’s not about what we think we want; it’s about what we can provide for the other person. Though the emphasis may be on you, this practice will bring love into your life!
Interested in learning more? Check out The Art of Manifesting Your Soulmate
Steps to Take Before Manifesting Love
Before you’re ready to begin manifesting, there are a few things Carr suggests you do. Take these initial steps so you can properly attract your perfect match.
1. Fall in love with yourself first. Enjoy your company and make yourself desirable in your own eyes. This energy shift will make you a magnet for suitors because the universe grants us only what we believe is possible. Loving yourself shows the universe that you believe you’re worthy of being loved.
Outside of practiced manifestation exercises, the best way to manifest love is to find your sense of self-love and acceptance, explains Sorel. “Ultimately, all relationships are a reflection of the relationship we have with ourselves,” she says. “Doing the inner work is a key aspect of all manifestation work in general, because we have to believe we’re worthy of what we want in order to attract it into our lives.”
2. Identify patterns or cycles. Certainly, recognizing patterns you’ve made in the past that didn’t work for you will help you to avoid repeating them over and over again, but it’s equally important to heal from underlying wounds that caused you to form these unhealthy habits in the first place. For example, if someone were to realize they kept attracting and dating narcissists, and their father was a narcissist, that would suggest that father wounds need to be healed. Allow yourself time and space to mourn, mark, and honor past experiences rather than ignore them.
3. Raise your standards for what you expect out of love. Why? Because it helps you start to believe that you truly deserve the best (which you do!).
4. Release any old beliefs that hinder you from love. This is similar to recognizing old patterns. The more baggage we can release, the more open we are to receiving the love we crave.
5. Write in a gratitude journal. Journal about how grateful you are to have such amazing, caring people in your life — friends, family members, neighbors, colleagues. You may not have a romantic partner at this moment, but there are people in your life right now who care about you and value you for who you are.
3 Manifestation Exercises to Find Love
Now that you’ve prepared yourself, you’re ready to manifest love. Most experts suggest practicing these exercises daily, but the frequency is truly up to you. Just remember that consistency is key (as is patience). Here are a few manifestation exercises to get you started.
1. Scripting. This exercise encourages detailed journaling about your partner as if you’ve already found them — which is different from, say, writing a list of attributes you’d like your partner to have. In this manifesting practice, you’re writing a not-currently-existing scenario as if it were as real to you as the pen in your hand.
To do this, Sorel says, “write down all the details: what your life is like, how you feel, what your partner is like. Get really clear on all of the [specifics].” As you do this, try to stay away from too many surface-level features and focus on the deeper connection you have with them. Go so far as to name examples of how they make you feel loved (e.g., “They bring me coffee in bed every morning, which makes me feel cared for”).
2. Visualization. Similar to scripting — but without the pencil — visualization is a meditation practice that asks you to sit and envision your future relationship as if you’re currently in it. As you do this, really imagine what your life is like. Allow yourself to feel the love and experience of each day with your soulmate.
3. Water Manifestation. You may have seen this method trending on TikTok by manifestation gurus like Abby Mahnke. The exercise is based on a study that proves water holds, retains, and emulates energy. In the study, scientists labeled two jars of water from the same source with either positive or negative words. After a few days, the jar with positive words formed beautiful crystalized shapes while the jar with negative words became murky and “not beautiful.” Though other studies have not successfully replicated the science here, there is a beauty and intentionality to this manifestation practice that resonates with many people.
Here’s how to use the powerful energy of water to manifest your desires: Find a water bottle that is special to you. Tape or place water-bottle stickers with the word “love” on your water bottle. If you choose, place a few energy-charging crystals like rose quartz or clear quartz at the bottom of the bottle (be sure to wash them first!). Every morning, fill your bottle with fresh water, then rub your hands together, place them around the water bottle, and repeat your intention for romantic love. Drink the water, being careful not to drink the crystals. Repeat this exercise each day.
Bonus Exercise: Stating Your Intention Out Loud
In a recent SNL episode, guest host Selena Gomez proclaimed to the audience that she was manifesting love. Was the star’s approach of publicly declaring her intention to the entire world a good strategy? According to Sorel, yes! Not only is this tactic advised, but it’s encouraged because an audience brings more power to the intention. “What [Gomez] did was activate the powers of collective manifestation,” says Carr. “Everyone watching that episode manifested with her for just a moment.”
There are a number of other reasons why this kind of public proclamation is helpful. The first is that by openly stating your desires, you’re making your intention very clear to the universe. How can the universe give you what you want if you aren’t direct about it? The second positive is that you’re more encouraged to behave in ways that are in alignment with that intention once you’ve spoken it out loud to others. For example, if you say that you’re ready for love, you might be more inclined to say yes to more first dates, which provide more chances to meet your match.
You may not feel like walking around stating your intention to find a romantic partner all the time, but there’s a power in taking action like Gomez did and sharing with people you feel comfortable with (even if that’s not quite millions of viewers watching from home).
What to Do if Manifesting Love Doesn’t Work
According to Sorel, if your manifestation isn’t coming true, it could be a sign that deeper inner work is needed before you can proceed. If you’re having difficulty trusting in your intention, “that is a signal there is more inner work to do and resistance to release,” she says. The most important thing to remember when manifesting love is to trust in divine timing and stay energetically positive, the expert stresses.
The Bottom Line
Ultimately, however, manifestation is an everyday, all-the-time occurrence. You’re manifesting right now, as you read! Remember that if you are mindful, no intention will go to waste. “If you start to think it’s not working,” says Carr, “here’s what I want you to remember: It is.”
The universe is always moving and integrating your life with serendipitous moments and experiences. Carr notes that we just have to be patient. Keep having fun and falling in love with yourself as you wait for your already-working manifestation to arrive!
