Ahead, everything you need to know about self-growth goals, how to set them, and why they might be the secret sauce of behavior change.
Exercise more. Eat less sugar. Save more money. Be a cleaner roommate. Resolutions are often lofty, hazy desires that we dream up without thinking about how we’re going to get there, how we’ll stay accountable, how we might address these goals in another way, or why we’re even setting the resolutions in the first place. No wonder they’re so tough to keep!
Research proves that humans tend to crave and cement routines, so “stopping an old habit or creating a new habit is hard,” explains Gail Saltz, MD, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College in New York City and the host of the How Can I Help? podcast from iHeartRadio. “It takes a lot of willpower over extended time. Plus, any slip-up can feel like a failure and a reason to throw in the towel.”
But data suggests that resolutions might not be the most effective way to spark behavior change. So with that in mind, we asked mental health experts to help us discover a wiser, more impactful alternative that sticks.
Why Self-Growth Goals Are More Beneficial Than Resolutions
According to Sonia Jhas, a Toronto, Ontario–based mindset and wellness expert and author of I’ll Start Again Tomorrow (And Other Lies I’ve Told Myself), a self-growth goal — unlike a resolution — is a values-orienting way of gaining clarity on what you want your life to look like and how you want to feel, and then establishing goals and plans that align with that.
In moments of challenge, you can revisit the “why” you establish at the outset (read more on this below) and dig up additional motivation. Plus, if those tough times do lead you temporarily astray, take heart: Rather than thinking that you’re “on plan” or “a failure,” as one might with a resolution, when you set a self-growth goal, it allows for evolution.
Interested in learning more? Check out The Power of Quantum Physics for Self-Healing
How to Know Which Self-Growth Goal Is Right for You
Your “why” will be the driving force behind your self-growth goal. To know which self-growth goals are right for you, you’ll need to get clear on your core values, Jhas says. “Values drive our goals, our decisions, and our actions. If we don’t know what’s important to us, we spend a lot of time wondering if we’re following the right path. By identifying these deeper drivers in your life, you’ll be able to figure out how they shape your behaviors and how they affect your self-growth goals.”
To gain clarity about your personal core values, ask yourself:
- What brings me joy?
- What gives my life meaning?
- What makes me feel excited?
- Where do I want to focus my energy?
Once you have firmed up those details, you can start to find spaces within your current life that could use adjusting. The best next step is to create a “mindset manifesto,” Jhas suggests. This will give you a tangible touchstone — something real to guide you in your decisions — to help you return to steady ground when life starts to get in the way of your priorities.
To craft a mindset manifesto, Jhas says you can ask yourself:
- What does success mean to me?
- What do I want to focus my energy on in the future so that I can achieve better inner and outer alignment?
- How will I feel as my best self?
“Then visualize yourself in your ideal state of success. Live in that reality for as long as it feels good, then write it all down,” Jhas tells DailyOM. “This declaration will capture the essence of what it means to be your ‘best self’ by defining what you truly want and how you intend to live.”
Along the way, try to remember that there’s no need to rush the process. “Self-growth doesn’t happen overnight, so deciding on your goal for self-growth shouldn’t either,” Dr. Saltz advises.
How to Set a Self-Growth Goal You Will Actually Stick To
Now it’s time to take that grand vision and break it into small nuggets so you can achieve it.
The strongest goals meet the following criteria, which you can remember with the acronym SMART:
Specific Self-Growth Goals
Think about what you can do today, this week, or this month to inch closer to your goal, then make that part of your self-growth goal. The more details you can add here, the better. For instance, think “I would like to sort seven items to donate to a thrift store from my closet this week,” rather than “I should really declutter my bedroom.”
Measurable Self-Growth Goals
The goal should be something that you can track progress on over time. Whether you use an app, a spreadsheet, a pen and paper, or a note on your phone is up to you. You can even report to a loved one to give yourself accountability. Just find some way to take note of your shifts. Bonus: This will allow you to reflect on how far you’ve come as well as make it easier to pepper in rewards.
Positive reinforcement can help inspire you to stay on track, Saltz says. If your goal is to walk three times each week for 30 minutes and you stick to it for one month, perhaps you can treat yourself to a pedicure or some treat that feels special to you.
Attainable Self-Growth Goals
“There’s no point setting goals that are so big they make you want to hide under your duvet instead of tackling them. When you’re overwhelmed by even thinking about your goals, that’s a sign that you need to pivot,” Jhas says. Ask yourself what you want to achieve, then break that overarching goal down into smaller, bite-size pieces. “Rather than ‘I'd like to lose 12 pounds,’ try ‘I'd like to lose 1 pound each week for three months,” Saltz recommends. This way, you can set yourself up to establish real, actionable steps toward your big goal that feel truly manageable.
Relevant Self-Growth Goals
If you’re setting goals just for the sake of setting goals, you’re going to end up with a pretty disjointed list of “things to do” instead of a cohesive path toward self-growth. Goals need to be clear and realistic, not only so you can keep tabs on them over time, but also so they actually matter to you. “If you’re not working toward goals that are actually relevant to your self-growth journey and your bigger picture, you’ll just end up spinning yourself in circles,” Jhas says.
Time-Sensitive Self-Growth Goals
Giving yourself a timeline boosts motivation, Jhas says. If the idea of a deadline stresses you out, no need to frame it as such; instead, think about the short term versus the long term. What goals can you pursue for the next 12 months? How will these set you up for achieving longer-term goals? “This tentative timeline will help you feel focused, purposeful, and driven,” Jhas adds.
Compare “I want to save money” to “I want to ensure a secure financial future for myself and my family, so I will have $200 from each paycheck directly deposited into my retirement account to start building my investment funds.” The former is very broad, while the latter is specific ($200), measurable (by that investment account), attainable (a small amount each month), relevant to your overall aim (building wealth and security), and time sensitive (every paycheck). The overall self-growth path? Security, stability, and freedom from debt.
Measuring Your Progress
“Periodic assessments and check-ins on your mood, stress levels, life satisfaction, relationship satisfaction, work satisfaction, and more allow you to see where you have been, [see] where you are now, and imagine where you’d like to go,” Saltz tells DailyOM.
Write down your own self-growth aim — that feeling — and your SMART goal(s) to get there. Well-defined goals will let you measure your self-growth against tangible criteria. Set a calendar reminder once per week for a “vibe check.” Using a notebook, a goal-tracking app, a spreadsheet, or your phone notes, record your answers to these questions:
- Have I been moving toward my specific goal(s)?
- Am I moving closer to how I want to feel?
“The answer should be clear and positive,” Jhas says.
If you are on a positive path, be sure to celebrate your wins. Maybe it’s a gold star in your notebook, a massage, a new pair of sneakers — something that’s meaningful to you. “Regardless of what you choose, the point is to celebrate each milestone,” Jhas says. “This will set the tone for your journey, helping you to stay on track and motivated.”
How to Recover If You Slip Up
We may have saved the best news for last: Unlike with resolutions, if self-growth is the goal, you pretty much can’t lose.
“When you pivot your focus to self-growth, the idea of falling ‘off track’ no longer exists. Progress isn’t linear and so your journey won’t be a straight, upward line either,” Jhas says.
Embrace the ebbs and flows. Now that you have your rationale behind your behaviorial changes and the baby steps that can help inch you closer to your end goal, you can try to make actions and choices that align with what you really want. If you feel like you’re wobbling off center, take a deep breath and refocus on your overarching purpose, and make sure to support yourself along the way with powerful positive intentions and affirmations.
While there is a time-sensitive focus to your self-growth goal, which is in place to help keep you from floating adrift, there’s no strict timeline and no set-in-stone path you need to take, Jhas says. “As long as your focus remains on what you need and how you want to feel, you will be working toward self-growth,” she continues.
Most people hit bumps in the road. Once you see it that way, you can reset and reengage the next day, or as soon as possible. “Don’t be too hard on yourself,” Saltz adds. “Change is hard for everyone. It’s great you are trying! Don’t let a slip-up cause you to quit.”
The Bottom Line
Instead of making resolutions this year, consider formulating a self-growth goal or two. Self-growth is about making lifestyle changes that support how you want to feel. Specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-sensitive self-growth goals take those sky-high, amorphous resolutions and bring them down to Earth so you can make your desired feeling a reality.
