All moms need encouragement … especially from themselves. These nine uplifting affirmations serve as a wonderful reminder that you are the perfect, amazing, strong mom for your kids and that you’ve got this, mama!
What’s something every mom could probably use more of? (Besides sleep, massages, and a beach vacation.)
Words of encouragement … to herself.
Reciting positive words in the form of affirmations or mantras — particularly in times of stress — can have a transformative power on your mindset and your life as a mom. Affirmations serve as reminders to pause more often, to stay present, and to help you keep your cool — even as you endure your overtired toddler’s tantrum in the grocery store checkout line.
These simple mantras are beneficial for moms who wish to be present and refocus on what's really important, explains Amy Webb, PhD, creator of The Thoughtful Parent. “Many ancient traditions and religions use mantras to help foster calm and positive mental health,” she tells DailyOM. “The repetitive nature helps you focus and can often help bring your breathing to a calmer state after being agitated.”
And when a mom stays calm, the benefits carry over to her child. A 2018 study conducted by Brigham Young, Johns Hopkins, and Virginia Tech researchers found that children of mothers who remained calm and positive in stressful situations likewise exhibited strong emotional control (read: less tantrums, less fighting).
Another fun fact: Positive affirmations are even more powerful when you incorporate your name into them as though you’re coaching yourself. “There is research showing that this strategy [of talking to yourself in the third person] actually helps you feel more empowered and self-regulated,” says Webb.
Read on to see which of these affirmations resonate with you most. Then have them at the ready for the next time you need a reminder to savor the beauty and challenges of motherhood and to keep yourself centered, no matter the mishap or meltdown.
1. “Parenting is hard. But [your name] is not a bad parent for feeling overwhelmed.”
When to use it: When you’re feeling overwhelmed
For moms in any stage of motherhood, it’s understandable to feel overwhelmed on a regular basis. But rather than see it as a negative, see it as an opportunity to say the above affirmation. Then follow the affirmation with these questions, encourages Webb:
Can I ask someone for help?
Can I take a break for a moment?
What can I let go of?
The added benefit of affirmations is that they provide you with an opportunity to pause. In this pause lies the power to gain perspective. Your children aren’t trying to sabotage your day by spilling their cups of milk. When you give yourself a minute to speak words of encouragement to yourself, you have an opportunity to choose compassion over anger. You can choose calm over chaos. And when you feel calm, you can then find a solution for the root of your frustration — whether it be a better sippy cup or some lunch because you haven’t eaten all day.
Interested in learning more? Check out How to Parent Like A Buddhist
2. “I’m allowed to breathe in stillness now, and any time I want. I deserve to feel peace. I’m doing much better than I realize and I’ll give myself the gift of taking a pause to notice all that is good in me — and in my life.”
When to use it: When you’re on the verge of burnout
“A mom [experiencing burnout] can never really appreciate who she is. This overwhelm leads to negative self-talk and cycles of self-criticism,” says Molly Claire, life and business coach and author of The Happy Mom Mindset. “This affirmation is a chance for her to give herself permission, ground herself, and reclaim her power.” And like in the affirmation above, use this moment to see if there is anything unnecessary you can let go of so you can focus on what matters most to you.
3. “I’m uniquely designed to be an incredible mom to this incredible child. I’m not supposed to be like anyone else. I’m supposed to be me. I will lean on my strengths and be authentic. That is how I will love and influence the next generation.”
When to use it: When the comparison trap sets in
In a world where it’s so easy to compare yourself to other mothers’ “perfect” lives, marriages, children, and homes on Instagram, this affirmation will help you keep a healthy perspective.
This affirmation is a great example of how to use Claire’s “Happy Mom Mindset” — a method of connecting with yourself first as a whole person, separate from who you are as a mom.
Why is this so important when you’re having a FOMO moment gazing at yet another magazine-spread-worthy 2-year-old’s birthday party on social media, or hearing about all the awards your cousin’s teen earned on their way to an Ivy League school?
“When you can drop unrealistic expectations and stop believing you should be different [from the mom you are] and actually see the powerful woman you are, that's when you can have a completely different experience of motherhood,” Claire tells DailyOM. “Keeping this mindset is a constant process of connecting with and loving yourself, remembering what you do or don't have control over, seeing yourself as separate from the role you play, seeing your kids as individuals separate from you, and leaning into your strengths as a woman so you can be the best, unique mom you can be.”
So while you might not have the skill set (or time) to make a homemade triple layer cake for your child’s birthday like in some other kids’ party photos on Pinterest, remind yourself of the skills you do have that make you authentic — both as a woman and as a mom.
And remember that one of your most important skills is how much you know about, care for, and love your child. They need this far more than that homemade cake.
4. “[Your name], you can remain calm. Give yourself a moment before you react.”
(Following this affirmation, repeat a calming phrase like “Om” or breathe deeply.)
When to use it: Whenever you feel triggered by something your child is doing
“This affirmation would be great for a mom who feels like they get angry all the time,” says Webb. “Recognizing when you are being triggered is the first step to making a change. It may help you figure out what events or circumstances make you feel triggered.”
The deep-breathing component with this affirmation is especially beneficial. Research shows that deep breathing into your abdomen relaxes the brain by activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which turns off the body’s fight/flight/freeze reflex and prevents you from spiraling into anger.
5. “I’m learning something new and it’s okay if I haven’t figured it out yet. All I need to do is take one step at a time and love myself all along the way.”
When to use it: When you need to give yourself grace
“As women, too often we think we should have figured everything out already,” says Claire. “We set an incredibly high standard for ourselves and our level of competence when we are doing something brand-new. It’s also something that challenges the deepest parts of us. It’s a lot of pressure for us, and it’s not necessary. This affirmation will allow space to learn and grow with self-love along the way.”
While this is especially helpful for new moms, it can apply to any mom in a new stage of parenting. Because just when you think you’ve figured out your toddler, they become a preschooler, and then you blink and they’re in middle school. The next adventure as a mom is never too far behind, so grant yourself patience and grace as you navigate each one.
6. “Babies cry. It’s going to be okay. I can support them and be there to soothe them. It feels like an emergency every time they cry, but it’s usually not.”
When to use it: When your baby is crying (and crying and crying)
Here’s another affirmation that’s perfect for new moms, especially when you haven’t quite adjusted to how often some infants cry.
“At first, it feels like every cry is an emergency with all the alarm bells going off in your head,” explains Webb. “While babies need responsive care, this statement might help you stay calm so you can help your baby calm down.”
And if you can’t help your baby settle, use this affirmation to remain calm as you remind yourself that teething or having a cold is really hard on them, and your being with them is helping. Another positive mantra you can repeat to get through moments such as this: “This struggle will pass,” suggests Webb.
7. “I am 100 percent capable of figuring this out. I’m not supposed to do it all; that won’t serve me. I listen to my intuition as to what is most important, and I trust that it will be more than enough.”
When to use it: When you feel like you have to do it all, especially as a single mom
“Single moms feel the weight of the world on their shoulders and experience a lot of grief and sadness, too. It’s important to instill self-trust and remind yourself that you are powerful and capable beyond what you believe,” says Claire.
8. “I am his/her/their mom for a reason. Even though this seems impossible or scary or worrisome, I will trust that I am the perfect mom for them right now. I will let go of trying to change or control this situation. I will allow this to unfold. And I’ll love myself, and them, all along the way.”
When to use it: When you’re feeling anxious about your kids
No doubt there are difficult moments in parenting when worries about your child will keep you up at night. This affirmation will help support you through those rocky times. “An anxious mom will feel the need to control what feels uncertain. It’s important for her to release control, embrace what is, and trust what is possible,” says Claire. “This affirmation will allow her to do all of this and, in turn, she will show up in a more calm and empowered way.”
Also, research points to stress as a cause of poor decision-making since it clouds your judgment and leads you to believe that your environment is harsher than it actually is. Instead, take a step back, release control, and trust. (Easier said than done, we know. Keep saying the affirmation each time anxiety wants to creep back in!)
9. “I will allow myself to feel all that I’m feeling in this transition. All of my thoughts and emotions are valid and I will make space to experience them. I’m allowed to feel them as much as I need to. I will appreciate all I’ve experienced, I will savor the present, and I will trust that this change will open up a new and exciting chapter for me full of possibilities.”
When to use it: When you’re transitioning to a new phase of motherhood and need to let go, such as mothers who are becoming empty nesters
There are so many exciting new stages as your child gains skills and independence, from their first days of school to learning to drive to leaving home as a young adult. These are wonderful, but hard, too! Claire says transitions in parenthood, such as the empty nest phase, stir up the full range of emotions for moms — joy, sorrow, worry, pride ... you name it. “This affirmation will allow space for [your complicated] feelings while bringing focus and intention,” she explains.
