On the verge of a freakout? Before you let that proverbial fuse blow, take a deep breath and say one of these eight affirmations — guaranteed by experts to help you clear your head, keep your cool, and push onward.
A peaceful affirmation doesn’t just make for a good catchphrase and a dreamy poster on the wall. Saying a calming, positive affirmation when you’re experiencing a stressful situation can do your mind and body a lot of good — both in the moment and beyond.
According to research published in April 2016 in Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, affirmations can “decrease stress, increase well-being, improve academic performance, and make people more open to behavior change.”
The reason? “Neuroscientific studies show that affirmations can activate our brain’s reward centers, conditioning our minds to associate positivity with rewards,” says Ashly Cochran, a professional life coach who helps high-achieving women navigate major life transitions.
Affirmations work by changing our “brain’s tape” — or the subconscious chatter in our minds that is often filled with negativity, she tells DailyOM. When we can replace that chatter with calming, positive affirmations, that’s when lasting change happens.
Affirmations also provide an opportunity to practice self-compassion. An analysis of two studies published in the Journal of Research in Personality in February 2007 found “self-compassion helps buffer against anxiety” and that “increases in self-compassion over a one-month interval were associated with increased psychological well-being.” The article notes that being self-compassionate means to be kind and understanding toward oneself instead of self-critical, especially in times of pain or failure. This is helpful for mental health because it can lead to greater resilience.
“People who are compassionate toward themselves are more likely to try again when they fail to achieve a goal,” says Julie Potiker, author of Life Falls Apart, but You Don’t Have To: Mindful Methods for Staying Calm in the Midst of Chaos. “They don’t see failure as a blow to their self-concept. They recognize that everyone fails, and they see failure as a growth opportunity.”
How to Make Your Peaceful Affirmations Even More Calming
Yes, affirmations are powerful. But in the heat of a stressful moment, it’s important to center yourself so you can fully soak in the affirmation’s power. Potiker has developed a system called “SNAP” to help with this.
Before saying your affirmation, start with a soothing touch (the “S” in SNAP), Potiker says. Place your hands in a supportive location, such as your chest or belly, or hug your upper arms (try different locations to see what feels most soothing to you). “This supportive touch will allow oxytocin and endorphins to help calm your nervous system,” Potiker says. Take a deep breath (or a few) to accompany that soothing touch.
Next comes the “N”: Name the emotion.
Identifying the emotion that you’re feeling “calms down the stress response and gives you time to locate [the emotion] in your body and soften around it,” says Potiker.
The “A” stands for “act,” which is where your calming affirmation comes in. While you say your calming affirmation, breathe deeply to relax your nervous system.
Following your affirmation, give praise (“P”) — taking a moment to express gratitude. “Thank yourself for showing up day after day, trying to do your best. Thank the Universe or your spirit of choice for giving you the strength and courage to keep on keeping on,” says Potiker.
Affirmations work by changing our “brain’s tape” — or the subconscious chatter in our minds that is often filled with negativity. When we can replace that chatter with calming, positive affirmations, that’s when lasting change happens.
Cochran also suggests pairing your affirmations with a daily meditation practice. “A consistent practice, even if it’s just 5 to 10 minutes a day, focusing on your breath and repeating positive affirmations, can produce remarkable outcomes,” explains Cochran. “The benefits of daily meditation with affirmations are numerous. From stress reduction to improved self-esteem and positive thinking, this practice can truly transform your life.”
Interested in learning more? Check out Living in Calmness When Emotions Overwhelm You
8 “I Am Calm” Affirmations
1. “I am safe, resourced, and connected.”
When to use it: When you are having a panic attack or experiencing intense, overwhelming anxiety
Why it’s effective: Panic attacks can happen without warning, so it’s incredibly helpful to have an affirmation ready to go that you’ve practiced regularly that you can use when you’re feeling completely overwhelmed by a wave of anxiety. This affirmation is a reminder that you are not alone, and that you are safe, even when your body and mind are trying to tell you otherwise.
“I love the power in this affirmation,” says Potiker. “I am safe: no one is chasing me. I am resourced: yes, I have a deep practice of mindful self-compassion and other rich, evidence-based practices to manage difficult emotions. I am connected: I love that this taps into common humanity, one of the pillars of mindful self-compassion. We are not alone. All humans feel this way from time to time, we are in this together, we are connected to all things, everything included, nothing left out.”
2. “I love you. Keep going.”
When to use it: When you are surrounded by literal chaos or a challenging conflict and want to give up
Why it’s effective: This is a great affirmation to strengthen that aforementioned self-compassion. Whether you’re facing yet another toddler tantrum or find yourself in the midst of heated, grown-up drama, this affirmation allows you to choose compassion for yourself so you can show compassion for the other.
“Breathe in compassion for yourself because [the situation] is so difficult, and breathe out compassion for them because they are suffering, even though their behavior might be disturbing,” says Potiker.
She notes that it can also be helpful to drop your attention to focus on the soles of your feet first, as a way to ground yourself. This will help you slow down as you get your breathing — and your anger — under control. Perhaps you may also need to physically step away from the chaos or drama and find a more peaceful place. Then proceed with the affirmation.
3. “I am prepared, capable, and confident in my abilities.”
When to use it: Before (or even during) your job interview, audition, or anything that would land you that “dream” opportunity
Why it’s effective: You snagged the dream job interview or tryout. Now is not the time to question your abilities — only to remind yourself that your hard work is well-deserving of this opportunity.
“This affirmation reminds you that you’ve put in the effort to prepare, possess the necessary skills, and have confidence in yourself,” says Haley Perlus, PhD, a sport and exercise psychologist and peak performance consultant.
Repeat this affirmation so much that you can have it on mental repeat during the interview (it may help to practice this one quite a bit beforehand so it’s fully memorized). You could also write it on a notecard and place it on your computer monitor or in a place where you will see it during your interview.
And remember to add in a deep breath or two to calm your nerves and maintain a confident voice.
4. “I embrace the challenge and trust in my expertise.”
When to use it: When a new challenge has you doubting your abilities or when you’re participating in a competitive event
Why it’s effective: Think about the last challenge you faced and successfully overcame. Do you think that success would have been as meaningful or memorable if it had come easily to you? Instead of shying away from a new challenge or competition, welcome it with open arms. “Embracing challenges shifts the focus from fear to excitement and motivation,” says Dr. Perlus.
Trust yourself and your abilities. Embrace the hard things. And get excited because, yes, you can do this!
5. “I am a capable and engaging speaker, and my message is valuable.”
When to use it: For public speaking or when you are leading a big meeting or training
Why it’s effective: Whether you’re getting up in front of three people or 3,000, public speaking is nerve-racking, even for the most seasoned speakers. But when you start to freak out, don’t make it about you — make it about those who need to hear your message and will benefit from the presentation you’re about to give or the skills you’re going to teach.
“This affirmation shifts your attention from the fear of judgment to the value you’re providing to your audience,” says Perlus. “It reinforces your speaking abilities and the importance of your message.”
6. “I am worthy of love and deep connection. I release what causes me pain, and I welcome peace, joy, and abundance. I honor my need for self-care.”
When to use it: When you are experiencing change in major life relationships, like a breakup, estrangement, or divorce
Why it’s effective: “This affirmation is a profound commitment to self-love, acceptance, and the courage to move forward,” says Cochran. “It’s about recognizing what no longer serves you and making space for what nourishes your soul.”
Not only is this affirmation a powerful signal that you are still worthy of love, but it is also a gentle reminder that you still need to allow space for grief and healing — and that is perfectly okay!
7. “I am competent, and I am confident. I prioritize my own needs so I can meet those of others. I face this challenge with love and clarity.”
When to use it: When you are feeling overwhelmed by the needs of others, such as if you’re the caregiver for someone dealing with a serious health diagnosis
Why it’s effective: An affirmation that tells you to prioritize your own needs when you are the caregiver to someone else may seem counterintuitive, but it is so necessary in order to better serve them. When Cochran’s 9-year-old son was diagnosed with cancer, this affirmation became her anchor, she says.
“By prioritizing my own needs, I was better equipped to support my family with love and clarity. It’s a lesson that I carry with me in my coaching practice, helping clients recognize their strength and the importance of self-care when navigating major life changes,” she says. “It’s not just about surviving the challenge; it’s about thriving through it with grace and wisdom.”
8. “I celebrate my past. I am grateful for the lessons I have learned, and I courageously step into my calling. I release fear and anxiety and welcome courage, authenticity, and confidence.”
When to use it: When facing a job loss, transitioning from one career to another, or embarking on a new professional journey
Why it’s effective: Change is tough, especially when you become set in your ways or when that change is unexpected. Needless to say, you might find yourself freaking out just a little. Fear and anxiety are going to be natural emotions that accompany you as you make this transition — and that’s normal.
“This affirmation is a beautiful blend of honoring one’s past while fearlessly embracing the future. It’s about recognizing the value in every experience and using it as a stepping stone toward greater authenticity and confidence,” says Cochran, who left a 15-year career in education leadership to become a life coach.
“By releasing fear and welcoming courage, I was able to align with my true purpose. It’s a mantra that continues to inspire me, reminding me that each of our past experiences is an important, sacred link to who we are becoming.”
