When it comes to realizing our deepest desires, can we speak these dreams into existence through manifestation? Many people believe that by focusing intently on something you want, such as a romantic soulmate, you can draw it into your life.
Manifestation is a powerful tool for achieving your goals, adherents of the practice say. Recently, I spoke renewed confidence into reach as I took on a new career role, and my friend manifested a raise using daily declarations. So why can’t you find “the one” by telling the universe clearly who and what you want?
To learn more, DailyOM spoke with experts to uncover the possibilities — and limitations — of manifesting your soulmate.
The Law of Attraction and Manifesting Your Soulmate
For those who are new to the concept of the law of attraction, it is “the belief that whatever we put our energy into, we will attract. This means that if we focus on something we want for our life, through the law of attraction, we will get it,” Aura De Los Santos, a clinical and educational psychologist, tells DailyOM.
That doesn’t just mean talking the talk, but also walking the walk. “The law of attraction is clear — like attracts like,” explains Robyn McKay, PhD, psychologist and executive coach. In order to attract your soulmate, you must do your own inner work to be a match for the type of partner you want. Love yourself completely, prioritize your own inner development, and identify what you are able to offer someone else, Dr. McKay tells DailyOM.
“Understanding that happiness starts with oneself, not being with someone else” is at the core of manifesting your soulmate, De Los Santos agrees. After taking the steps to love and build yourself, you can then call your dream partner from within.
By the way, the Law of Attraction applies if you have limiting beliefs or a negative attitude, too. If you’re telling yourself there’s no chance you’ll get that promotion, never meet a wonderful person who wants to date you, or have zero shot at being accepted into that competitive grad program, you won’t, so push back on negative self-talk when it rears its head.
Clarity is at the heart of the manifestation process. To attract the partner of your dreams, you must have a vivid, clear idea of who this person is and what your relationship looks like.
Although there is no science or research behind manifestation, there is support for the theory that a positive attitude is helpful for our self-esteem and that positive self-talk can be a tool for bolstering our confidence. And since manifestation is all about tapping into a positive attitude and demanding you’re due to get what you most want, it tracks that a manifestation practice can help you find the right significant other.
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How to Make the Most of Manifesting Your Soulmate
You’ve adored your single era, but you’re ready to manifest true love. Now what? Experts have suggestions for approaching this process for the best chance of success.
Be specific about what you want
Clarity is at the heart of the manifestation process. To attract the partner of your dreams, you must have a vivid, clear idea of who this person is and what your relationship looks like. Journal about your future partner. What are their values? What deep conversations will you hold? What types of adventures will you have together?
“Get clear and specific about the type of partner you want to attract. If you're not a fan of cargo shorts and flip-flops, state that you want someone who's a snappy dresser,” says Mckay. “This is a crucial tip that directs your reticular activating system (the part of the brain that filters information to validate your beliefs) to find someone who matches your energy.”
Speak in the present
Manifestation creates the reality we think, believe, and speak about. When manifesting your soulmate, De Los Santos suggests using the present tense. It’s a subtle difference, but an important one. Instead of wishing or hoping for something, speak as if you already have it in your life.
Stay grounded in your manifestations
Although the Law of Attraction states that your partner is within reach, it’s important to remain open about who this person is. “I believe that manifestation focuses on giving us what we need, rather than what we want,” says De Los Santos.
Don’t have your sights locked on one specific person or very specific type, as this can tunnel your vision away from even possibly more suitable partners. Leave room to let the universe work its magic!
"In the field of infinite possibilities, anything is possible, including developing a relationship with a colleague, a friend, or someone from the gym,” says McKay. She advises that you be specific enough that the Universe knows who you’re seeking, then add her favorite magic words to your manifestation practice: “and better.”
“When you ask for ‘or better,’ you give the Universe permission to manifest this, or surprise you with a partnership that’s even better than you could have hoped for,” McKay says. (McKay reveals she met her soulmate when they sat down next to her at her favorite restaurant. The pair soon discovered they went to the same yoga classes and had memberships at the same gym.)
Keep things moving
By being specific, staying realistic, and speaking in the present about your partner, you’re free to let things go and allow the Universe to take it from here.
“Instead of waiting for someone to rescue you, go out and have fun, explore, and have adventures. This will attract your soulmate when the time is right, and you'll know it's not because you’re lonely, sad, or wishing someone would rescue you from your life,” says McKay.
Push back on limiting thoughts
Negative thoughts can hold you back, interfering with what you attract to your life. If you find yourself ruminating, “What if I never find the one?” or “Is there really love out there for me?”, acknowledge your fears and frustrations, but do your best to avoid dwelling on them.
Watch for signs
It’s natural to be curious about whether someone else is manifesting you, but our experts are split on whether it’s truly possible. Tapping into higher vibrations can unlock the knowledge that someone is manifesting you into their life. “Keep an eye out for synchronicities and signs that the Universe is bringing you closer to your soulmate,” McKay says.
On the other hand, it’s “difficult to know if a person is manifesting you,” De Los Santos says. Instead, she advises trusting the process and accepting that you will attract what is yours and nothing less.
6 Affirmations to Manifest Your Soulmate
Our experts share the best affirmations to create reality from your romantic dreams by focusing deliberately on your ideal relationship. Whether you whisper, journal, or otherwise communicate your manifestations, commit to time each day to sit with what you want for yourself.
1. I’m enjoying who I’m becoming as I align with my soulmate.
Why it’s helpful: This affirmation encourages you to find love in yourself while also creating a welcoming environment for external affection.
“The process of calling in your soulmate is a journey in becoming your future self, the version of yourself who’s psychologically, spiritually, and financially prepared to be in a mature partnership,” McKay says.
This means learning and loving who you are, and caring for yourself through journaling, meditation, therapy, and other practices to support your mental and physical health and well-being.
2. The Universe is working on my behalf to bring me and my soulmate together.
Why it’s helpful: By speaking these words, you let the law of attraction take its natural course. You are free to continue improving yourself while trusting the process that the one for you will find their way into your life.
As McKay reminds us: “Calling in your soulmate isn’t meant to be a solo journey. When you invite the Universe to collaborate with you, and you’re willing to receive its energetic support, that’s when the real magic happens.”
3. I am ready to share my life with another person.
Why it’s helpful: The thought of being open and vulnerable with another person can be daunting, but with this affirmation, you are opening your heart to the joy this phase can bring. This affirmation also informs the Universe of your intentions and sets the stage for your soulmate relationship to come to light.
But we’re not always aware of the mental blocks that prevent us from receiving love. Truly being ready means “there is no fear. You are open to sharing aspects of your life that you didn’t before because you didn’t feel ready,” De Los Santos says. Now you are.
4. I trust myself to attract my divine life partner.
Why it’s helpful: “Trust yourself not to settle or compromise your values, desires, or your inner knowing about who’s right and who’s not quite right. Remember this: People will show you through their actions who they are. Your work is to believe them,” advises McKay. Have faith in yourself that you’ll recognize someone wonderful when they cross your path and that you won’t waste time with someone who doesn’t meet your fundamental needs.
5. I have the power to give and receive endless love.
Why it’s helpful: By maintaining this attitude, you open up the stage for limitless opportunities in love and relationships. This affirmation encourages acceptance of love and deepens your ability to reciprocate these feelings.
6. Someone is coming who can bring positive things into my life as I bring positive things into their life.
Why it’s helpful: This affirmation confirms the power and effects of reciprocity in love. This powerful affirmation recognizes that the person you are with will have needs and that you are able to meet those needs as a caring and thoughtful partner, De Los Santos says. You’re willing to do the work to have a healthy, mutually supportive true love partnership, and deserve someone who will offer the same.
