You’ve surely heard the term “midlife crisis” before — and its various negative connotations, like a sudden desire to buy a sports car or otherwise attempt to recapture a lost youth. This life moment is defined as an emotional crisis of identity and confidence that occurs at middle age. But if you were to frame it a different way, is a midlife crisis actually an awakening? It certainly can be, according to experts.
“The midlife awakening is often associated with anxiety and regret,” licensed physical therapist and wellness coach Kelly Kessler, DPT, tells DailyOM. But that doesn’t need to be the case. In fact, Dr. Kessler says that by bringing your awareness, in a nonjudgmental way, to the feelings that may crop up during this transitional time can be a “great catalyst to make changes in your life that resonate with you better.”
This time of existential questioning can be more positive — and more powerful — than you’ve ever imagined. In fact, with mindfulness and self-inquiry, this time of your life doesn’t have to feel depressing. Your middle years can be a time of rebirth. Here’s how to make the most of it.
The Hidden Blessings of a Midlife Awakening
When it comes to most things in life, mindset matters. If you approach a midlife crisis as a spiritual awakening, you’re more likely to get value out of this time and come away from it feeling satisfied with the direction in which your life is headed or feel clearer about your life’s purpose.
Take advantage of your midlife awakening to reconnect with your needs and desires, advises intuitive life coach Bianca Jade. “A midlife crisis is a pivotal point in a person’s life to wake up and reclaim sovereignty of themselves,” Jade tells DailyOM. She says that this allows you to create a life that you actually want to live, rather than living to serve others or living on other people’s terms.
“Connect to your higher self and an understanding that you have the authority and power to curate the existence you want simply by letting go of beliefs and conditions that are not even yours,” suggests Jade.
As you move through this transitional time, tap into your intuition. This will help you navigate life guided by your higher self instead of by your ego or limiting beliefs.
To understand what you truly want, you also need to surrender control to new possibilities and opportunities, says intuitive health and life coach Sara Garofalo, whom DailyOM spoke with for this story. “The midlife awakening is a gateway through which we can access deeper fulfillment, joy, and spiritual expansion. But you must be willing to face what makes you uncomfortable, let go of the reins, and make space to take care of yourself.”
Interested in learning more? Check out The ROAR Manifesto for Midlife Awakening
4 Questions to Ask Yourself During a Midlife Awakening
To help you move forward through your midlife awakening and make the most of this transition, ask yourself the following questions, as suggested by Kessler. If you’d like, you can journal your responses.
“What am I feeling?”
Identify your emotions and bring awareness to them to gain insight into yourself. Follow Kessler’s suggested approach to greet your feelings with a nonjudgmental, curious gaze.
“What does the life I want to have look like?”
Answer this question as specifically as possible to help provide clarity. You might also ask yourself, “What is my life's purpose?” Do you have a different career goal? Are there places you’d like to see or interests you’d like to explore? Who are the people in your life you want to spend your precious time with?
“What habits am I implementing and what steps am I currently taking to move toward the life I want?”
This will allow you to identify how you’re moving toward the life you want, or if you’re not going in that direction at all. If you aren’t taking action yet, think about steps you’d like to take on your journey of self-growth and living with purpose.
“What do I need to add, subtract, increase, or lessen in my life to move me in the direction of my dream life?”
This will allow you to establish or reestablish habits that will change the trajectory of your life.
4 Actionable Steps to Help You Through a Midlife Awakening
In addition to asking yourself the previous questions, you can get the most out of this self-evolution by taking the following steps.
1. Become more conscious of how you spend your time
Kessler stresses the importance of being aware of your daily habits and how you really spend your most precious commodity: your time. “So much of our daily lives is spent subconsciously, so bringing conscious awareness to the daily routine is important,” she explains. “This can be done by writing out everything you do in a typical day with a time stamp and being as specific as possible.”
For example, if you start the day by picking up your phone and scrolling social media for 30 minutes before you roll out of bed, write that down. “This will not only give you insight into what you do, but also allow you to see where your time is going and if those current habits are moving you toward the life you desire,” Kessler says.
2. Write down anything you’re feeling unsatisfied about
If your midlife awakening has you taking stock of what’s not fulfilling you, start taking inventory of where you’re feeling unhappy, Jade suggests. “Ask yourself if you are willing to give up on participating in what is bothering you in your life,” she advises. “Get really bold with yourself about making changes to create a different reality. Same behavior, as we all know, equals the same outcome.”
3. Enlist a mentor
You may need outside support to get you through this time — and that’s okay. Jade suggests working with a therapist, coach, or mentor to assist you, especially when it comes to reframing any limiting beliefs or stories you’ve told yourself about your life and your capabilities. “This person can help you rewrite a new truth immediately so you can begin practicing,” she says. “Having an outside perspective can move the process along because this person will not be attached to your story and upbringing.”
4. Tap into your inner wisdom
As you move through this transitional time, Garofalo advises accessing and tapping into your intuition. This will help you navigate life guided by your higher self instead of by your ego or limiting beliefs. You can also “look back and meditate upon your past experiences, as well as on what you want to co-create with the universe moving forward,” she says. This process not only allows you to look back on your life with a positive outlook, rather than through a lens of regret, but also helps you cultivate hope for the future.
While a midlife awakening may seem overwhelming at times, it’s also a period when life slows down so that you can really zero in on what matters most. “Your thirties and forties are such a busy time in life with raising kids, focusing on advancing [your] career, and trying to juggle the never-ending demands,” Kessler says. “The time that follows is one of transition, evaluation and awareness.”
Amid feelings of uncertainty, apprehension, or even disappointment comes the possibility of finding fulfillment and growth. A midlife awakening can even give you the opportunity to discover your life’s purpose — or choose an entirely new path to explore. After all, with your clarity, maturity, and well-earned wisdom, you’re just getting started!
